Actor Terry Crews has released a new memoir called “Manhood: How to Be a Better Man — or Just Live with One.”
The star of Fox’s “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” and the newly named host of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” is a self-described “super-driven superstar alpha male” who for many years was keeping a secret — an addiction to porn.
The 45-year-old married, father of five used porn as recreation. Crews said he was fascinated with exploring adult entertainment films despite the fact he was a devout Christian.
“I love my wife and the whole thing, then in order to feel good, I had a little secret where I would feel I could sit on the internet and watch things I shouldn’t be watching,” he explained while guest co-hosting on “The View” on Tuesday. “I suffered from a thing called cognitive dissonance, where you have two opposing beliefs in your brain at the same time.”
The former NFL star turned actor thought his porn habit was manageable, until it almost ruined his marriage.
“You always find a reason why you can do this.’My wife was tripping’ and ‘I had a hard day at work’ and you think you have control. Once you say you have control, it’s over! You don’t have control,” he expressed. “Being a victim is where this kind of addiction lives.”
His wife Rebecca Crews put him out of the house and it was the wakeup call the Flint, Michigan-bred talent said he needed.
“I almost lost my family,” he confessed.
In an interview for NPR, Crews talked about his wife accepting him back.
“She gave me another chance. She said, ‘Now that I know everything, I’m still choosing to love you.’… That kind of mercy, that kind of grace — it took our relationship to a whole other level, because this is one thing I never realized. … I always thought if she really knew who I was, she wouldn’t want to be with me. And that blew my mind,” he recalled.
Crews hopes his tome inspires men to take ownership of their actions and challenges them to make smarter decisions in life.
“When a man decides he is going to take full responsibility for everything in his life, good and bad, that’s when he becomes a man,” he concluded.
“Manhood: How to Be a Better Man — or Just Live with One” (Random House) is out now.